I have a Motorola Droid & when I’m bored I look through the Marketplace for new apps. I recently found this app called “75 Hot Sex Moves” and I feel obligated to share what a massive disappointment this was. I’m just glad it was free.
Maybe I’m just a more advanced lover than most, but a lot of these “moves” were weak sauce. Here are the very few I bothered adding to my favorites list.
1. Text your man racy one-word messages that, when strung together, hint at what you want him to do to you that night.
2. Before sex, take a hot shower together and rub each other’s bodies with salt scrub. The steam and rubbing action will stimulate the nerve endings and blood flow.
3. Explore tying each other up by getting a sport sheet — which slips over your bed and has four Velcro restraints at each corner — from a sex shop. (Note: this was only interesting because I didn’t know these existed)
4. While on top, straddle your guy and clench your legs so his arms and torso are pinned down. As he keeps still, roll your hips in a clockwise direction. Switch to counterclockwise, then back, every 30 seconds.
5. For a superintimate move, have him sit Indian-style (with legs crossed) on the bed or floor. Then straddle him, wrap your legs behind his back, and rock back and forth.
6. Put a frozen grape in your mouth and warm it up a bit. Then hold it between your teeth and glide it down his neck, around his nipples, and over his lips. Finally, use your tongue to slip the grape into his mouth.
7. When he’s giving you oral sex, have him approach you at a perpendicular angle so he can move his tongue across your clitoris, rather than up and down. It’s easier for him… and superintense for you.
8. While kissing, gently run your fingernails up and down the inside of his arm. It’s a teasing, arousing sensation that will leave him craving more.
9. Build momentum by keying in to an ocean legend that the seventh in a series of sea waves is the strongest. Lie on your back on a bench and have your man make every seventh thrust his most powerful.
10. Create a buffet of sensual pleasure by blindfolding your man. Then alternate using a cashmere glove, silk panties, and a piece of leather to stroke his skin. Next, it’s your turn.
11. In-bed aggression makes sex more exciting, so have him be a little firm with you by pinning you to the bed. Playfully resist by trying to close your legs or sit up. Just don’t get too rough, and make sure you have a safe word.
12. Have him stand with his back pressed up against one side of a door frame. Bend over and hold on to the other side so you’re in a standing doggie-style position.
13. As you feel yourself reaching orgasm, slow down to an intensity of about 75 percent of your full speed, stay there for one minute, and then pick up the pace again. This technique will make your orgasm even more intense.
14. To get better leverage in missionary, lie with your head toward the end of the bed, put your feet up against the wall, and use your legs to push back and forth underneath him.
15. Before you orgasm when he’s giving you oral sex, lift your hips slightly and clench your butt muscles to make it more intense.
16. In missionary, up the G-spot action by having him rotate his body clockwise, using his arms to support himself, until you’re facing opposite directions. From there, grip his waist with your thighs as he thrusts back into you.
17. In girl-on-top, as you are sliding up his penis, contract your vaginal muscles, squeezing your way up his member. Then release, and slide back down his penis. The clenching of the muscles will help you reach orgasm and give him a tight fit.
18. Take a beaded necklace (one without exposed string or wire), lube it up, then wrap it around his penis and roll it up and down.
I don’t know about you, but I’d say only 24% of the moves being anywhere near hot isn’t a winner.