Sex Watch 2011 Update 2

So it seems that our pattern this year is weekend sex. The hubs has a tiring schedule sometimes between work, grad school, & his historical society.  Throw in some combined antidepressants for the both of us & its not always a winning combination. But Saturday night proved fruitful,despite my leg hurting like a bitch. We were just careful to keep the leg out of the way.  The interesting part is that hubs was finished but no cum, but when he woke me up Sunday with his poking & I just let him do his thing without really getting into it – like someone turned on his spigot! I jokingly said he must like the ‘dead fish’ move, but he says its the morning part. Ah well!

2011 TOTALS
Sex: 5
Masturbation: 4

Sex Watch 2011 Update 1

So, with a little help from Wet & the Michael Bublé channel on my Pandora, the count is up to 3, which is about a once per week average.  The hubs & I disagree on if this is good or bad.  I say that’s not terrible for a married couple that’s been married almost 8 years & together almost 10!

Me: I’m going to go write about this in my diary.
Hubs: Which one?
Me: Sexually Speaking.  That brings the count for the year to 4.  Not terrible for 3 weeks in.
Hubs: That sucks.
Me: Not really; its a once per week average.
Hubs: Yeah, which sucks.  We’ll just have to do it again tomorrow to keep the count up.

Well…who says a blog can’t get you laid?

2011 TOTALS
Sex: 3
Masturbation: 4

Foot Trauma While Wacking Off

So, I was recently reminded that I teased readers with the tale of how I messed up my foot while masturbating.  So here it is.

So, sometimes I have insomnia.  If I’m up past 4am, I may break out the double bullet masturbator and quietly take care of business in the hopes it’ll make me tired.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  I put one inside and one on the clit.  I also tend to lock my feet together and squeeze my thighs.  Well, I guess I squeezed too hard, because the next day my feet hurt like a son of a bitch where I locked them together.

So that’s how it happened.

Sex Watch 2011

So had a good session Thursday night. Interestingly it was good, we were done though not necessarily to fruition, just until we were too tired to go on. Then hours later I wake up to the hubs atop me. Mornin’ sunshine! That time was shorter, but more intense. And he finished, then I was finished off with my toy.

So that sort of brings the masturbation count to 3 & the sex count to 2. At 2 weeks into 2011, that’s not terrible I guess.

2011 TOTALS
Sex: 2
Masturbation: 3

Masturbation Watch 2011

For some reason, it dawned on me last night that it might be interesting if I kept a log of how many times this year I masturbate & have sexual relations, & with who for the latter.

So far, the count 4 days in is 1 mastebatory session, 0 sexual encounters.  This is mostly because I rang in the new year with Aunt Flo by my side.  Tonight & tomorrow are pretty much a wash since hubs had a long day today & stars his next class tomorrow night.  But I’m hoping to get some action before I leave for a business trip on Saturday.

Last night’s 4:30 am wank wasn’t even for pleasure – it was a futile attempt to make myself sleepy so I could finally get to sleep.  Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.  It didn’t really work to make me sleepy, but that’s not to say it was unsuccessful. 

Maybe next time I’ll share my stealth masturbatory method.  Or how I jacked up my foot a few weeks ago by masturbating.  Good times.

75 Hot Sex Moves Android App

I have a Motorola Droid & when I’m bored I look through the Marketplace for new apps. I recently found this app called “75 Hot Sex Moves” and I feel obligated to share what a massive disappointment this was. I’m just glad it was free.

Maybe I’m just a more advanced lover than most, but a lot of these “moves” were weak sauce. Here are the very few I bothered adding to my favorites list.

1. Text your man racy one-word messages that, when strung together, hint at what you want him to do to you that night.

2. Before sex, take a hot shower together and rub each other’s bodies with salt scrub. The steam and rubbing action will stimulate the nerve endings and blood flow.

3. Explore tying each other up by getting a sport sheet — which slips over your bed and has four Velcro restraints at each corner — from a sex shop. (Note: this was only interesting because I didn’t know these existed)

4. While on top, straddle your guy and clench your legs so his arms and torso are pinned down. As he keeps still, roll your hips in a clockwise direction. Switch to counterclockwise, then back, every 30 seconds.

5. For a superintimate move, have him sit Indian-style (with legs crossed) on the bed or floor. Then straddle him, wrap your legs behind his back, and rock back and forth.

6. Put a frozen grape in your mouth and warm it up a bit. Then hold it between your teeth and glide it down his neck, around his nipples, and over his lips. Finally, use your tongue to slip the grape into his mouth.

7. When he’s giving you oral sex, have him approach you at a perpendicular angle so he can move his tongue across your clitoris, rather than up and down. It’s easier for him… and superintense for you.

8. While kissing, gently run your fingernails up and down the inside of his arm. It’s a teasing, arousing sensation that will leave him craving more.

9. Build momentum by keying in to an ocean legend that the seventh in a series of sea waves is the strongest. Lie on your back on a bench and have your man make every seventh thrust his most powerful.

10. Create a buffet of sensual pleasure by blindfolding your man. Then alternate using a cashmere glove, silk panties, and a piece of leather to stroke his skin. Next, it’s your turn.

11. In-bed aggression makes sex more exciting, so have him be a little firm with you by pinning you to the bed. Playfully resist by trying to close your legs or sit up. Just don’t get too rough, and make sure you have a safe word.

12. Have him stand with his back pressed up against one side of a door frame. Bend over and hold on to the other side so you’re in a standing doggie-style position.

13. As you feel yourself reaching orgasm, slow down to an intensity of about 75 percent of your full speed, stay there for one minute, and then pick up the pace again. This technique will make your orgasm even more intense.

14. To get better leverage in missionary, lie with your head toward the end of the bed, put your feet up against the wall, and use your legs to push back and forth underneath him.

15. Before you orgasm when he’s giving you oral sex, lift your hips slightly and clench your butt muscles to make it more intense.

16. In missionary, up the G-spot action by having him rotate his body clockwise, using his arms to support himself, until you’re facing opposite directions. From there, grip his waist with your thighs as he thrusts back into you.

17. In girl-on-top, as you are sliding up his penis, contract your vaginal muscles, squeezing your way up his member. Then release, and slide back down his penis. The clenching of the muscles will help you reach orgasm and give him a tight fit.

18. Take a beaded necklace (one without exposed string or wire), lube it up, then wrap it around his penis and roll it up and down.

I don’t know about you, but I’d say only 24% of the moves being anywhere near hot isn’t a winner.

FetLife

I’ve had a weird vision of FetLife for awhile now.  I only joined what is self-described as “Similar to Facebook and mySpace but run by kinksters like you and me” because a former partner urged me to.  Unfortunately we broke up soon after, so I avoided the site for awhile.  Now that I’m embracing these dirty thoughts again & sharing with everyone, I decided after a couple of “are you on FetLife?” questions to go ahead and fill out my profile.

So there you have it, my profile on FetLife. More of my naughty thoughts about what I’m curious about in terms of fetish.

Sexting

Is new to me, sadly. I don’t think what I did tonight can even be defined as such. It was more like exchanging dirty pictures of ourselves. I liked what I saw – lovely cock & of course the gentleman attached was good looking too! I feel like I don’t usually do this – exchange phone numbers after one night of chatting. Maybe I’m feeling a touch lonely or restless in the secondary department. It was fun though.

I think I just like the variety and the idea of having options. I’m so comfortable with the hubs that its nice to have someone new interested in me. Exciting even.

Latex Gloves & Baby Oil Gel

Can make for a fun night. I felt bad; its that time of the month and, while the hubs doesn’t necessarily mind it, I’m just not really into having sex right now. This week was slim, so I wanted to sex him up without penetration. I got the idea earlier when reading some things on formspring.

We’ve been down this road before, but not for awhile. I pulled out the latex gloves and looked for the slickest lube we have. That turned out to be some baby oil gel we got on the recommendation of a friend (that’s a story for another post ). I grabbed some paper towels & slipped into something naughty. I had already enticed him with innuendo so he was ready – but for what he didn’t know.

All became known soon enough & I went to work with the digital manipulation of the brown eye. He stroked his cock while I worked the ass & balls. I decided that he needs to refer to jerking off as “roughing up the suspect” from now on. All went well until he was done.

I like using the gloves because I have long nails & it provides a little protection. As well, the smoother things are when it comes to the asshole, the better. I just wish I could find gloves with less powdery residue on the inside!

Any recommendations?

Masturbation vs. Sex

Sometimes, one just feels like masturbating.  Maybe it’s laziness… lack of wanting to go through the hassle or rigmarole of sex.  Foreplay is time consuming, and a vibrator doesn’t really require much foreplay.  Or lube, for that matter.  It might just be a “me time” thing.  Periodically, it’s nice to treat yourself to exactly what you want, exactly how you want it.

Is this a problem for guys?  Or is masturbation just as much trouble as fucking?

Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way if I actually used my hands.  Being this big, it’s a bit awkward and hard to reach for me to reach the downstairs.  It’s juuuuuust outside my reach, comfortably.  So instead I use a vibrator.  Perhaps as I get more comfortably on this bloggy poo, I’ll tell you just what kind of equipment I use down there.

So fellas, what’s the story?  Are you offended if I bust out with the vibration assistance instead of wanting to throw down?  I asked one partner and he says,

Yeah probably…it would make me think I’m not good enough..

Hmm.  He does also say this has never happened to him in practice, so it’s all conjecture.  I did post a poll on Twitter, so go take it!